A Childhood. Sandra Barnard and Myrna Shoa record their stories. The world through the eyes of children. The stories of first generation immigrant's children born in Cheetham Hill Manchester, England. Their stories may resonate with yours. Sandra and Myrna are artists, teachers and storytellers.

Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts

Thursday, 3 September 2026

BIRTHDAYS, WEDDINGS & OTHER STORIES












BIRTHDAY PARTY WITH PUNCH AND JUDY

When we were living at our house in Stanley Road and aged about three and four years our mother decided that as our birthdays were only just a month apart she would arrange a joint birthday party for us and as a special treat would hire a Punch and Judy man to entertain us and our guests.


The great advantage of our house was that it had been built over three floors and the top floor, which was a huge room, was our wonderful playroom. It was the place where our imagination could run beyond any limitations. It was our space and it was in the playroom that the puppet theatre had been set up.
After the usual birthday tea of egg, tinned salmon, cheese and tomato sandwiches, chocolate biscuits, jelly, and birthday cake we all trooped upstairs for the live entertainment. At first everyone was having a great time until the crocodile made his first appearance. This was all too much for Sandra who immediately burst into tears. Luckily for her, Myrna was at hand to comfort and protect her.

THE MARRIAGE OF AUNTIE ROSIE 

Meyer’s daughter Rosie, a pearl in his eyes wanted to get married and her parents had to make a suitable match.
But a match was proving difficult to make for unfortunately she wasn’t an attractive girl. In fact she looked older than her years, with a raw peasant face and strapping figure and although she had qualities, conversation wasn’t one of them. She had the habit of repeating the trivial bits of gossip that fascinated her but left others yawning. Every year at the Jewish Passover feast she would ask the same question about which Matzo we had this year.

Now it is 2015.

THE FESTIVAL OF BRITAIN LONDON 1951, SANDRA GETTING LOST

By 1951 the country was ready to forget the austerity of the post-war era, so the government had the brilliant idea of holding ‘The Festival of Britain’ on the South Bank of the Thames in London.

Our Uncle Robert and Aunt Jeannie from Chicago were coming over for a visit as well. It was the first time Robert had been back to the U.K. since his emigration nearly thirty years earlier. Our parents went to London to meet them from their flight. They stayed overnight leaving their daughters in the care of Margaret the maid and Edie the charlady, who had worked for the family for years before the girls had been born. They all came back to Manchester the next day. While our parents were in London, Sandra had suffered an accident at school and hurt her arm. She was taken for an x-ray at the hospital the next day where it was discovered that she had chipped a bone. So by the time her parents and their guests arrived in Manchester her arm was in plaster.

Uncle Robert had thick white hair and seemed very old, auntie Jeannie was nice. She was a teacher in America and was keen to visit our primary school in Cheetham Hill and this was arranged. We all enjoyed having our American visitors to stay. They seemed both familiar and exotic at the same time. It was decided that we would all spend some time in London. Robert wanted to visit his two sisters Jean and Betty who lived there. Robert and Jeannie would go on to Scotland to see his youngest brother James while we would see the sights in London, visit ‘ The Festival of Britain’ and go to Battersea Fun Fair.

This was Myrna and Sandra’s first visit to London.It was very exciting. We stayed in the Cumberland Hotel at Marble Arch, travelled by tube for the first time, had our first meal in a Chinese restaurant as recommended by our Uncle Billy the chef. We visited Madame Taussauds waxworks museum, Trafalgar Square, where we fed the pigeons, the Houses of Parliament and Westminster Abbey, which in those days were both pitch-black due to pollution from coal fires.


We spent a day at the festival show ground.The only memories Sandra has are of the ‘Skylon’, a slender leaf shaped aluminium sculpture on a huge scale held upright by tensioned metal wires and a sculpture of a family group in bronze by Henry Moore.

The following evening we all went to spend an evening at Battersea Fun Fair. This for the girls was one of the highlights of the whole visit. It was crowded, noisy and exciting. There were dodgems, roundabouts, coconut shies, and shooting galleries. Everything you could possibly imagine at a fun fair and more. Sandra was in the care of Margaret the live in maid. They had been watching someone unsuccessfully trying to throw hoops over prizes. When Sandra was ready to go she turned round and to her shock there was no sight of Margaret. In fact there was no members of her family about at all. She panicked, started to run, first one way and then the other. Nothing! She began to cry. Luckily she was quickly found by a special warden whose job was to rescue lost children. She was taken to a huge hangar-like building where other lost souls were waiting to be claimed by their families.

It didn’t take all that long for Sandra to be reunited with her family but it did take a long time for her to get over the fear of
being lost in a strange place.

THE TIME OUR LIVES CHANGED FOREVER
Our father died

It was a Friday evening, mid-July 1961. We were waiting for our father to come home from work. Our little dog, Tamba, would watch out for him standing on a chair in the dining room bay window, with his front paws on the windowsill. He would start to bark and wag his tail in excitement as soon as he spotted him.

Dad arrived home at his usual time. He looked tired. Dinner was nearly ready. We all sat down and ate our Shabbats dinner together. After the meal had ended and the dishes had been cleared away, we settled in the living room to watch some television.

At some point our mother glanced at our father and noticed that he was very pale and that his lips seemed blue. He hadn’t said a word, but she knew that he was having a heart attack. She phoned a near neighbour who was a doctor and he was at our house within minutes. We girls were sent out of the room while the doctor attended to our father. We had no idea what was going on. After a while the doctor and our mother came out of the living room. The doctor was saying something like ‘this time you have been very lucky’. Our dad had survived his heart attack. We were so relieved and grateful. The doctor said that our father needed a good nights rest and that he would arrange for him to be admitted into hospital the next day, then he left.
Our mum had a serious talk with us both. She said that life would be very different for us all now. Dad would probably have to give up work and retire. We didn’t mind, we just wanted and really needed our kind and funny dad to be well.

We all went to bed, mum was able to relax and finally fall asleep when she heard our dad snoring gently. In fact, it was the silence that alarmed her when she woke some time later and checked on him. She came running into our bedroom, crying and wailing ‘your dad’s dead. Come at once.’ Myrna was the first to leap from her bed and followed our mum back into the other room. ‘He can’t be dead.’ Myrna was saying. She sat on the side of the bed and touched his face She knew immediately that he was gone. He was so cold, felt like a cold, dead chicken. Sandra didn’t enter the room. She couldn’t bear to see her father like that.

We were all shocked. There were things to attend to. People to inform, rituals to perform, curtains drawn, mirrors covered and this got us through the next few hours. A funeral had to be arranged. If possible, a Jew is buried on the day he dies. As soon as the death certificate was signed the undertakers arrived and our father’s body was removed. A week of mourning takes place in the home of the deceased. The men gather in one room and say the prayers and the women sit in another room and comfort the wife.

Our mother was in a state of profound grief and everyone told us girls how we had to support her and be strong for her, but we were grieving too, only there didn’t seem to be any space or time for us to talk through our feelings and pain, as we had to give all that focus to our mother. No one asked us how we felt, comforted us, or noticed us. Mum’s grief was all-important. It was more than fortunate, that as sisters, we had each other. Up to today we still have each other.

‘Did you have a good summer holiday?’ This was the first question college friends’ asked Myrna after she returned to her art course at Manchester College of Art and Design for her final year of the Art Foundation course. She was only 17 and Sandra 16 years old. Our Dad had died in July. She couldn’t tell them that. They might have felt awkward and she would have felt too emotional Our Dad was only 58 when he died without warning. Dad was sweet, had silly jokes and was our protector against Mum. Myrna felt that her perception of life had changed forever. The temporariness of everything took away her innocence.

Months after Dad's death, our little dog, Tamba would still watch out for him, standing on a chair in the dining room bay window, with his front paws on the windowsill. He would start to bark and wag his tail in excitement and tremble with the anticipation of seeing him again.

SANDRA IS THERE FOR MYRNA

As a child, at bedtime, my active imagination was often too powerful for me to sleep. I was frightened of fluttering moths, scared of the dark, the passing cars lights, strange sounds and flickering shadows terrified me. I found it hard to close my eyes and go to sleep and dream. Sandra was there to support me. We would hold hands across our two, side by side, single beds, and when my fearful imagination got the better of me, I would get into her bed and sleep cuddled up to her.

My wonderful sister Sandra is still there to support me when I feel stuck in emotional and practical situations. She is brilliant at helping me sort out calculations regarding finance or number. I have a powerful visual brain and I just don’t get the concept when it comes to number. She has helped me tremendously over the last few years.

WHAT MY SISTER MYRNA MEANS TO ME

There are a few really important people in my life and I include among them some dear friends. I can’t even begin to quantify or qualify the love I have for my two sons, it is beyond measure. However I do want to try and describe the love and appreciation irstI feel for my sister Myrna.

Whenever there is bad news or good news to share, Myrna is the first person I need to talk to. When my marriage was breaking down, I spent hours and hours pouring out all the emotion and pain to her. She would listen without complaint as I went through this cathartic form of therapy. In January 2006 I discovered that I had advanced cancer, with secondary tumours in the lung and liver. Myrna was at the hospital and stayed to support me within hours of my being told.

Myrna is always the one to encourage me in trying something new. She has helped me in learning computer skills, in teaching adults to improve their literacy and numeracy skills and she has, most importantly, encouraged me to be creative in all parts of my life, to study and make art just for the pleasure of it.

When I look at the very old photographs of Myrna and me as little children, maybe four and three years old, it seems that Myrna is always either holding my hand or has her arm around me in a protective way. This is something she still does for me now and it makes me feel loved and cherished.
SANDRA REMEMBERS HER FIRST STAY IN HOSPITAL

When I was about three years old I needed to have my tonsils and adenoids removed. It was arranged that I would go into hospital and have the operation and these are my memories and interpretations of what was happening to me.

I can recall the room where I stayed. It was a side-room, which I shared with one other patient. He was an adult male and I think I was told not to bother him, as he wasn’t very well. I can remember being really offended by being put in a cot with barred sides. At home, I slept in a proper bed. Only babies slept in cots.

As I was so young, it was decided by the doctors and my parents that they wouldn’t visit me in hospital as it was felt this would be more upsetting for me. I can remember that the young doctors and the nurses made quite a fuss of me.

When I explained later, to my family, what had happened to me, I said. ‘ I was put on a tea trolley and wheeled down to this special shiny room, then I was put on an ironing board. A nurse put these football socks on me and then I fell asleep.’

I soon recovered from the operation and was allowed to go home. I was taken down to the hospital kitchen to wait for my mum to come and collect me. I watched the cooks prepare the food, but I wasn’t allowed to sit and watch, as the chair by the table belonged to the hospital cat.

When I got home there were lots of exciting toys waiting for me, to cheer me up. The best was a wooden Noah’s ark with cut –out wooden animals in pairs. I loved that toy.



SANDRA AND MYRNA. CREATIVE WOMEN
Sandra Barnard paints Wild dance Images







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Wednesday, 2 September 2026

PAST PRESENT AND FUTURE

PAST PRESENT FUTURE

THE PRESENT MEETS THE PAST





In 2021 during the Covid  Pandemic, completely unexpectedly I was contacted by two different people from my (late) sister Sandra's and my past, who knew us, and had found us via social media and the website. I had an email from Richard Casson from Manchester. He had been to the same primary school, Thomas Street. Whilst researching the school he came upon this website!
I had an email from Louise the daughter of Margaret Hendry Bushnell in Scotland saying that her mum is our cousin. I hadn’t  seen or heard from any of the Hendry”s since Sandra and I were about 10 or 11 years old and Margaret about 8 or 9. Our mother took us up to Scotland to visit them.  Margaret’s father was our mothers’s brother James.  I had no idea that she was alive. Margaret for many years had been looking for the Horowitch girls, Myrna and Sandra.
​Since getting in touch we have found out that we share some Horowitch and Hendry stories and photos. I had a photo of Margaret”s family in an album and she had a photo of Sandra and me with our mum wearing a large hat. Margaret's family now know that the stories she had told them about. 
The Toilet Paper Story from Margaret. Sandra and Myrna came to our place in Balloch in the 1950s. The housing block had only one shared outside toilet. We all only used newspaper as toilet paper as it was cheap and readily available but to impress your mum, our mum Nellie bought some Izal hard shiny toilet paper especially for you girls. But the plan went wrong. Your mum was horrified to see that you both had purple backsides. She couldn’t work out why,
Some neighbours seeing the posh medicated paper took it and replaced it with newspaper.
​​After about 63 years my first cousin Margaret speaks to me via Messenger.
​ Here is what she told me.

MARGARET BUSHNELL HENDRY. HER STORIES
"Your mum Ina's dad James lost everything. Also, my father James and mum Nellie lost everything. I think their house was bombed and they had nothing except the clothes they had on. Poverty was a big problem in our lives. James my grandfather had Irish descendants. He had a pawn shop. (Our mum had told  Sandra and me that it was an antique shop) and he lost it all and after his wife Margaret died he took to drink. 'Our mum hated him, as he would kick her', Myrna
Margaret, my cousin tells me another story about aunty Betty or Bessie as they called her. Elizabeth was her full name so both are correct. Only about 20 years ago Margaret was told his story.
"Betty had a child out of wedlock and she gave the child to a relative to look after. The child was sickly and died very young. Betty never ever came to see her child. Then Betty adopted Cathy a daughter from her husband Bill's affair. (The mother of the child didn’t want to keep her and let Bill take their daughter. Betty brought the child up with Bill as though she were hers.  Cathy when an adult also got pregnant out of wedlock and everyone was embarrassed and didn’t want our mum to find out about it.  Cathy was told not to come out and meet our mum. Cathy then was forced to give up her child for adoption. She said that she would’ve loved to have found out what happened to her child Margaret said. Betty never had another child of her own". Margaret.
Then 2 months after Margaret got in touch with me I had an email from Richard Casson, from Cheetham Hill Manchester who knew Sandra and me very well from primary school. He had lived in the same area as us.  While researching Thomas Street School Cheetham Hill Methodist, Richard discovered this site. He is a passionate researcher of family stories and histories and has a record of people from that time who knew us both well. He is still in touch with many from that time.
Through these new encounters I am able to reach back onto the past and add information, my truths to those times which in turn will affect the future for all of us who knew those stories from so long ago.
History is fluid, the way we look at events is dependent on what information is gathered from different points of view, the context of the times.  Memories of past events and stories  will inevitably become fixed if no new input has  been added to those recollections.

NOW IS THE TIME TO FILL IN THE GAPS IN OUR STORIES

Sandra would be delighted to know that finally  we can be heard.

BEHIND THE CLOSED GATE

Susan a childhood friend lived across the road from our house. She wrote about the Horowitch's house, how the gate was always closed (barred) triggered off  thoughts for me about the stories that become like myths of a time.
​Susan "The Horowitch house was conspicuous as the front gates were always closed (effectively a barrier).  If you asked the girls to come and play they always had an excuse why they couldn't.  Their mother was sleeping and they shouldn't disturb her, or they were going elsewhere".
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Sandra and I were part of a cover up about what really went on behind the closed doors of our house. I can now pull off the cover of respectability and reveal the secrets. The moral and cultural framework at the time of our growing up silenced us all.
"Susan as a child herself would have had no idea what madness went on inside the house behind the gate.  Who would have listened at that time to 2 young children talking about their mother?
Sandra and I would come home from school find our mum on the floor completely drunk, ranting incoherently or find her trying to kill herself by leaving the gas poker on unlit. Our mother hated all our friends and would let rip how awful they all were. Even our dad concealed the secret. ” Myrna. 

RESPECTABILITY

 Susan - "We lived in a narrow environment, were not really aware of things  outside our own world.  Todays age of electronic communications  would have been unimaginable then.
We grew up in an era where RESPECTABILITY and MORALITY ruled the day.  Ladies wore hats and gloves, when they went out. When did you last buy a pair of dress gloves to match your shoes?   White shoes could be worn from June, before then it was déclassé.
Times have certainly changed".  
 "It’s fascinating how things change, words take on other meanings, what was important at one time becomes irrelevant at another time. All this is what interests me about looking back at these stories," Myrna.

MORALITY

 Susan  "A major scandal that did become public.  A Rabbi in the community was having an affaire with the wife of a Jewish butcher.  The husband found out and threatened him with a meat cleaver. His aim being to remove the offending equipment.  He was prevented from fulfilling his ambition."

SANDRA ARTIST TALENT 

“I am able to amend the past by telling 'what happened next' therefore the stories in the Past become the Present and the Future will change because of the new information," Myrna. 

 “Sandra’s artistic talent was apparent even at primary school. I always admired her art prowess. She would often draw things for me," Richard. “Sandra was closer in age to me, so we were in the same class. Her artistic talent was apparent even then,” Susan.  Similar comments came via emails from other people from that time.

 Myrna “Yes Sandra was very good at art. As I was a year ahead no one knew about me. Sandra and I both spent time drawing around our home. At Broughton High School for girls encouraged by art teacher Miss Grist, I also became ‘good at art’. Both Sandra and I were encouraged to study art at Manchester Regional College of Art. I completed the course but Sandra decided not to, as she was so upset by our dad's premature death that she felt she didn’t deserve to continue. She was almost 17 year old. From that time I have lived my life through art in, fashion, prints, greetings cards and film. 
Sandra after a divorce returned to complete the art course. Her talent was such that she got accepted on the course simply with an A4 folder of her recent drawings and paintings. Sandra and I over the years shared many creative projects".
FEEDBACK FROM THE PAST TO NOW
RICHARD CASSON’S Thomas Street stories and more
"The Jewish community is so tight. I still retained a core of friends from primary school days (not secondary although one or two of these have crossed my path) and information just seemed to come my way. I suppose most of us as we grow older wonder what might have become of our primary school classmates? Some of the people in the Thomas Street black and white school photographs I just felt very close to as I had played with them as kids and wondered what became of them. Every one has a story to tell. Dear Sandra is in several of my class photos however it was her talent for art that I remembered mostly. I do remember the playroom in your house. I certainly had no inkling of some of the things that have recently been revealed. 
When the Thomas Street ex pupils started to meet up regularly it was always a case of ''I wondered what happened to?" 
Brian - "I remember well the Horowitch girls, particularly Sandra, and even the mother. She was, of course, close with my grandmother Anita, and I remember being invited to parties at their place. I have a picture of Sandra at one of my parties. And I was quite fascinated with the webpage and the openness with which they wrote about the relations with the mother".
Susan - "Myrna and the late Sandra have my admiration and respect on being strong, proud women they became.  The beautifully recorded family history is a tribute to them and their achievements".




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